quietly

 I love it when Ben sends me sweet text messages. It's always such a surprise and I never get tired of it. I like to know that I am adored. It's kind of funny, when I think about when we first started dating. How much I admired him and how badly I wanted him to love me. Like a little girl with a crush. So silly.
 We have our rough patches and sometimes I'm not even sure where we are at. But we are always moving forward and, until I get super demanding and anxious, it's enough.
 Travis thought text messages were a waste of time. Actually, he never really was big on the whole "affection" thing. It's interesting how much this gets pointed out to me by random people now that we're broken up.
 Oh well. That was a stupid relationship. I want to call it a mistake but I learned a lot from it. So really, the only mistake was trying to make it last as long as it did. I can get pretty childish and mean but when I think of some of the things he said and did ... I really, really wish I could fly out to Virginia and punch him in his stupid ginger face.
 I don't care how many years have passed, the thought of the things he said still fills me with hate and rage and the urge to set his hair on fire while he's sleeping.
 So I hold a few grudges. I don't mind being angry. It's not like I have ulcers anymore that I need to control (take that, colon), so fuck it. I'm generally pretty nice but there's a lot of things that make me angry.
 Ron Weasley, for one.
 Good GOD, I absolutely despise that character. And the whole Ron/Hermione pairing in general. He is a giant douchebag to Hermione. He never does anything nice but when he goes and says fucking "s.p.e.w." correctly, suddenly, he's the absolute shit .... which says a lot about Hermione, actually. And why, for all her book smarts, she's an idiot.
 I wish Harry had died. Or stayed dead. Whatever.
 The tangent is brought to you buy a commercial playing for Deathly Hallows Part 2, by the way. I know it's totally off topic, but ... it ... sort of fits? Good timing, TV. Off topic from my original point, I mean. Not things I hate. But I do love ranting about things.
 I tried rock climbing yesterday, but I think I'd do better at kickboxing. Kickboxing is good for angry people. I'd need to wait a few weeks for that one, though. The stoma hole isn't totally closed, but it's not this gaping hole anymore either. It just looks like I got ...  I don't know, stabbed or something. But stabbed with a plastic knife by a five year old.

Here, this is me trying to look pensive and mysterious.

And failing.